My crazy cat

All you writers out there had to know that I have a cat. I think it is a prerequisite; writer = cat. So, yes I have a cat. She is eleven years old but still acts like she's a two year old kitten. One of her favorite things to do is run up the stairs like a maniac, meow incessantly at the top of the stairs, and then tear down the stairs ending up where ever I happen to be.

Most of the day she spends sleeping in my closet When she's not sleeping you can find her in my lap so that it is impossible for me to use my laptop. She loves to lay across my right arm, rendering it immobile. When I nudge her to move she gets all huffy with me and tears off down the hallway.

The fun begins when it's time for me to turn off the TV, shut down my laptop, and head off to bed. Simple enough, right? Sure. No problem. I get my water and start my ascent to my bedroom. Typically, my cat is sleeping on the couch when I head to bed because she is waiting. Waiting for that perfect moment. The cat owners out there know the moment of which I speak. It's the moment when you have the blankets perfect, you're snug as a bug in a rug underneath them, and you have just begun to doze off into dreamland when "Meooooowwww. Meeeooowww." My cat is at the top of the stairs staring at me and crying. Why? I have no idea. All I know is it is the most annoying thing ever. This goes on for five minutes. In the meantime I am trying to get her to come to bed. Calling her name, using the sound I make to get her to come to me, but nothing works. She just sits there and cries at me. Finally, she runs and makes an acrobatic leap onto the bed. But the fun doesn't stop there.

Now we have entered what I like to call 'The Patrolling of the Bed.' I'm awake now and flipping through the channels trying to find something decent to watch at eleven o'clock at night while my cat steps on me, purposefully blocking my view, and doesn't move an inch. I gently nudge her off and she walks up the side of me, onto my pillow causing my head to dip, and back down the other side of me. Then she steps on me again and thus creating the vicious cycle of her patrolling. This goes on for a few patrols before she decides to sleep at my side. Then the licking begins. She licks my neck, my cheek, anything she can reach. Her rough tongue hurts but after eleven years I am used to it. She will lick for a good five minutes before I tell her to stop, I swear I should buy her a salt lick, and then I can get some rest.

So, while I go to bed around 10:30 the truth is I don't get to sleep until a quarter after eleven because of my crazy cat.


Sadie said...

lol - my old cat was like that!

HOWEVER! We got a kitten last year on Christmas Eve Eve. She was so tiny and cute! Well, we've trained her very well. She's trained almost like a dog! She minds my husband really well, it's crazy. At bed time we have a routine: I watch the news on the couch and she's sleeping in her cat tree. When I turn it off I go pick her up and tell her it's "time for night-night". We then head to the bathroom where my husband holds her and she watches me brush my teeth (which fascinates her, it's hilarious). Then she watches me make the bed. Then I pick her up and put her down on the bed and my husband snaps at her and says "get on the pillow" and she does! Then we all cuddle and fall asleep! Until about 4am when she decides it's time to play... :/

Persistent Pen said...

Well, this writer is cat-less. But i do enjoy them (sometimes). I have too many dogs now, I think I made get me an indoor animal.

Beamer said...

I am impressed with your patience as a cat owner. Ive put up with a lot of stuff through the years with our cats, but would never go to the lengths you going through. Sounds like the cat has you trained pretty good.


gypsyscarlett said...

Awww..your cat sounds like my old dog. But rather than preventing me from watching tv, her hobby was sprawling over the book I was trying to read. :)

Nienke Hinton said...

I've always had cats - first two girls, one lived till 18. Now two boys - and man are they crazy! Or, maybe I am. For 18 years I slept with my arm in a funny position so Billy could snuggle in. I am now double jointed in that shoulder.
Now, no matter where or when I walk through the house, I'm being raced by my two boys.
I just love cats. Oh, and I love my dog Piffy. That's a whole other crazy ball game.

Bob Johnson said...

Lol, wow, we are so similar. I love my cat, she's around 19 now so not as mobile, Great companionship always there for you. Cats are very special,just something about them.

Ching Ya said...

I'm a dog lover, yet I love kittens. I remember when I was little, there's a cute brown cat who always came by and I would feed her some bread etc. I was at the door everyday, waiting for her.. then one day, she just never came back. I was sad, and I wrote a poem about it. I was like 10 back then.. sigh..

spyscribbler said...

Wow, ohmigosh, CJ, you have the sweetest cat ever! We have four, but none of them do the licking thing, and they don't come when I tell them to, LOL.

I am a writer with four cats. Does that give me extra luck?

Jessi said...


Writers definitely come with cats and vice versa....I don't know what it is about them!

And I completely identify with what you go through nightly. Unfortunately for me, my cat has this crazy routine 'in the morning'. It doesn't matter if my schedule says I don't have to wake up until 9am....she insists that 5-6am is the appropriate time. She meows, she cries, she whines, she fusses. That seems normal, except once she gets her food, there's the crunch-crunch-crunching as I try to fall back asleep. As I drift off, she decides to come prancing across my belly out of no where (which she does at night before falling asleep as well)...and begins that cat kneading process of clawing into my stomach, "fluffing" my tummy like a pillow. And heaven forbid I actually 'do' have to be up in the morning because she'll be under my feet the entire time, throwing a fit about who knows what, and crying when I accidentally step on her or kick her as she walks too closely, haha.

Firecat said...

I've got five cats and thank God only one of them is a cuddler! They all have their own distinct personalities and routines.

Panda, the only female of the bunch, starts out the night on my chest, nose to nose with me, purring away while I pat her. After I stop she'll move down between my legs and stay there the rest of the night. Sometimes one or two of the others will sleep along side me, just to make sure I'm pinned in place. My husband goes to bed later than me and has to take his chances on finding a spot in bed!

Gottawrite Girl said...

Oh, that unconditional love of a pet. You've gotta love it!!!!

Stina Rose said...

you are making me miss my kitty...I had to leave her with my grandma when I got married!